From B3TA: * "Dr P taught us the basics of DNA using fizzy laces, jelly beans and toothpicks and the theory of dilution using farts, and 'fart atoms.' But his best moment came one afternoon walking past the sports field. The PE teacher was shouting at the largest, most unfit kid. When he tripped and the PE teacher burst out laughing, adding more condescending comments, Dr P casually shouted, 'At least he's not fucking the librarian,' before carrying on into the science building. It turned out to be true, spread around the school like wildfire, his wife found out and the last I heard the PE teacher had been fired and was living at home with his parents." (eggs and spam)

* "A friend of my folks was brother-in-law to my Year 9 maths teacher, from whom I get this story. One fine day in the past, 'Mr Smith' comes into his morning maths lesson. One of those old roll-down blackboards sits at the front of the classroom. Smith rolls it down to find 'Mr Smith is a cunt' scrawled across it in huge letters. Smith goes absolutely apeshit, informs class that they are staying there until someone comes into his office and owns up to it. With that, he leaves the stunned class in silence and goes to wait in his office next door. According to his brother-in-law, Smith wrote it himself as he was hungover and couldn't be arsed to teach."