Posts in Uncategorized
Pic of the week: Francine the bubble queen

These pictures were taken at the first ever King Of The Bubble contest, which requires contestants to produce the largest, clearest, longest-lasting and most perfectly rounded rings. It's a specially-built pool in Brussels, Belgium, 100ft deep (the deepest in the world).

The eventual winner, beating nine finalists, was 31-year-old Francine Kreiss, from Hyeres in France (above).

(via)

UncategorizedJack Dysonphoto, photography, queen of bubbles, underwater Comments
Definitions without words (all suggestions welcome)

A while ago I came across this list of 20 untranslatable words (look up "tartle" and "mamihlapinatapei"). It got me thinking about other circumstances that happen regularly enough in the modern world to deserve a name and definition of their own. So I've started on a list of modern Liff*, which I'll update, and I'm hoping that other people might want to contribute - words for definitions or just definitions alone.

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The feeling of impending doom as you open a yoghurt and realise it’s about to explode on you.

On getting in the bath, settling in the hot water and leaning back before realising with a lurch that your towel is downstairs and the house is freezing.

A creeping, retch-inducing fart on a tightly-packed train that the pretty girl sitting in the priority seat is clearly blaming on you, when in fact she may well be the culprit.

The feeling of intense frustration you get for the person walking very slowly up the escalator in front of you.

That bizarre pantomime of exaggerated innocence you adopt near a shop door, because you’re convinced the Tesco security guard thinks you’re about to shoplift some baby spinach and a packet of spaghetti.

A furtive glance to see if anyone saw what you just did.

Seeing the shape of someone's ear in the patina of grease on their touch screen phone.

Trying to open a kitchen drawer that is wedged shut thanks to a poorly stashed potato masher or cheese grater.

The sudden realisation that the reason the person you're talking to is completely off their tits and that's why they keep telling you about themselves.

A look shared between subordinates, realising that their boss has had a glass too much wine at lunch and is about to mess something up.

Realising that you've been singing to yourself and there's someone walking right behind you.

The gentle slapping noise and associated choking caused by a wet tea bag hitting you on the lip as you finish the last bit of a herbal tea.

On replying instead of forwarding your sarcastic response to an annoying email.

The feeling that you get in that split second in the morning when you see that its going to be sunny today.

Getting to work and realising you've left your mobile at home.

The sort of half-run you do for a few paces after tripping up so it looks like you meant to do it.

That thing you do when you nearly walk into someone walking down the street, then dodge left and right in synch until someone get's annoyed or embarrassed to stop and show you the way past them.

Realising your pin number is not the correct code to turn off the office alarm, and that the police are on their way.

"Typoo" - nonsensical typing mistake possibly related to predictive text and/or fat fingers and touch screens.

‎"Joggle" - verb Peculiar style of running employed when trying to move down a busy street at speed whilst dodging people, pets and other unforeseen obstacles.

"Mornesia" – That thing one sometimes does in the morning where cornflakes get put in the fridge, milk in the dishwasher, and the bowl in the bin.

noun.— 'Me-bop' On waking, a satisfying percussive rhythm played with cupped hands on the male belly.

verb.— ‘Vafting’: The simple act of repeatedly pushing water forward with one hand, and at the same time, backwards with the other hand creating a mini vortex around your body whilst sitting in a bath, in order to mix freshly added hot or cold water.

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*This sort of thing was first done in The Meaning of Liff. If it's not already a part of your life, then it should be - Douglas Adams and John Lloyd taking odd place names and giving them meanings)

UncategorizedJack Dysondefinitions without words, liff, words, writing Comment
Three poems for February

This from the Song of Solomon (King James Bible) is a nice one for February when the sun is just starting to peek his pale face through the clouds, and you get the first inkling that spring is actually not that far away: My beloved spake, and said unto me, Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away. For lo, the winter is past, the rain is over, and gone. The flowers appear on the earth, the time of the singing of birds is come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land. The fig tree putteth forth her green figs, and the vines with teh tender grape give a good smell. Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away.

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And a few years ago I read this on the tube - it's was on one of those London Underground posters. Had forgotten it but for some reason was thinking about Robert Louis Stevenson the other day, and he always reminds me of adventure. Makes me think of walking along the Thames.

It's called: Where go the boats?

Dark brown is the river, Golden is the sand. It flows along for ever, With trees on either hand.

Green leaves a-floating, Castles of the foam, Boats of mine a-boating - Where will all come home?

On goes the river And out past the mill, Away down the valley, Away down the hill.

Away down the river, A hundred miles or more, Other little children Shall bring my boats ashore.

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I saw this today by Marianne Moore. Short but perfectly formed. Deserves its own post really, but there you go.

It's called: I may, I might, I must.

If you will tell me why the fen appears impassable, I then will tell you why I think that I can get across it if I try.

Marianne Moore (1887-1972)

UncategorizedJack Dysonmarianne moore, poem, poetry, robert louis stevenson, song of solomonComment
Weather maps are scary

Here is tropical cyclone Yasi, breaking into Australia, Katrina style, just weeks after floods ripped the river banks open and swamped the streets:

And a map of its progress:

Meanwhile this little beauty is the blizzard that's walloping Chicago into the ground and stopping anyone from going anywhere or doing anything:

Click here to see an amazing picture of the Chicago freeway.

Don't forget, the USA and Australia are BIG places. These are BIG clouds.

UncategorizedJack Dysonblizzard, chicago, cyclone, extreme, satellite, storm, tropical cyclone, weatherComment
Man Bites Dog

Sort of a Clockwork Orange for the 90s: a camera crew follows a serial killer/thief around as he exercises his craft. He expounds on art, music, nature, society, and life as he offs mailmen, pensioners, and random people. Slowly he begins involving the camera crew in his activities, and they begin wondering if what they're doing is such a good idea. It'squiteadarkfilm.

"You can tan while you make love. When you're through you've got a brown ass."

"If you kill a whale, you get Greenpeace and Jacques Cousteau on your back, but wipe out sardines and you get a canning subsidy!"

"Once I buried two Arabs in a wall over there... Facing Mecca, of course."

"Usually I start the month with a postman."

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bcPhaieTg4o]

UncategorizedJack Dysoncinema, french, man bites dogComment
The Good News

I was in Waterstones thinking about a friend who was a little bit blue before Christmas. Not badly, just a little bit. I wandered over to the poetry section to play lottery - you know, when you choose a book at random and a page at random to see if you get a message. This was the one I found. It has delighted, comforted and inspired me by turns since then. It's an excerpt from Call Me by My True Names by modern Buddhist poet Thich Nhat Hanh, and it's about... well, you work it out: The Good News

They don't publish the good news. The good news is published by us. We have a special edition every moment, and we need you to read it. The good news is that you are alive, and the linden tree is still there, standing firm in the harsh Winter. The good news is that you have wonderful eyes to touch the blue sky. The good news is that your child is there before you, and your arms are available: hugging is possible. They only print what is wrong. Look at each of our special editions. We always offer the things that are not wrong. We want you to benefit from them and help protect them. The dandelion is there by the sidewalk, smiling its wondrous smile, singing the song of eternity. Listen! You have ears that can hear it. Bow your head. Listen to it. Leave behind the world of sorrow and preoccupation and get free. The latest good news is that you can do it.

— Thich Nhat Hanh

UncategorizedJack Dysonbuddhism, depression, eternity, joy, poem, poetry, Thich Nhat HanhComment
M.C. Escher in Lego

Escher was a Dutch graphic artist known for mathematically-inspired woodcuts, lithographs, and mezzotints. These were often impossible constructions, explorations of infinity, architecture, and tessellations.

The great thing about them is that they're impossible constructions. Or at least, they were until Andrew Lipson and Daniel Shiu built them out of Lego. I like that in the top one, the lamp is resting on a Linux book. Rather heartening.

(via)

UncategorizedJack Dysonconstruction, design, engineering, escher, impossible, lego, scienceComment
DOT DOT DOT (official video)

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Z2Z23SAFVA&w=700] Excellent piece of typography/animation/comedy/etc based around the comments on a YouTube clip of a game, or something. I, for one, absolutely LOVE the comments you get in YouTube. Just so bonkers. There must be a lot of very angry people out there constantly screaming at their screens "WTF! OMG man" - so livid they can't even type straight. Perhaps it's actually just hugely cathartic, and they sit down to tea after a good vent with a big smile on their face. "Gosh darling, I feel so much better. Told VikingNinja87 where to shove it. He'll think twice before flaming me again. These chips are good."

(with a tip of the hat to Felix)

UncategorizedJack Dysonanimation, dotdotdot, film, funny, type, youtubeComment
Idle doodles by famous authors

Emily Temple on Flavorwire came up with a genius collection of doodles by famous writers. Read the whole piece here where there are more images. "Everybody doodles. There’s just something about an idle moment and a blank space on a page that invites a little design or two. Plus, there is some evidence that active doodlers are also active thinkers and imaginers. After all, John Keats doodled flowers in the margins of his manuscripts, and Leonardo DaVinci is famous for his love of doodling. There’s even a whole book dedicated to the doodles our various presidents have scribbled – we hope not while they were supposed to be paying attention to anything important. But everybody’s doodles are different – like dreams, they are culled directly from the loose bits floating around in our brains, and their expression is really only inhibited by the doodler’s physical abilities and/or hand-eye coordination. Authors – especially those who wrote with pens instead of those soulless computer things – are prime doodlers. They have a million ideas going through their heads at once, so it makes sense that something would spill out as a little drawing on the side. Check out our gallery of doodles by famous authors, and let us know what (if anything) you think it tells us about them."

Kurt Vonnegut Vonnegut’s doodles are well known, as they have been incorporated into many editions of his work and are even serving as elements of the covers in recent printings. However, that doesn’t make them any less great. You know what that asterisk is.

Sylvia Plath Sylvia Plath liked to doodle in her diaries, creating illustrations of her life, her dreams, and in this case, her nightmare about being chased by a hot dog and a marshmallow.

Charles Bukowski This doodle is attached to a letter he wrote to the Sycamore Review, published in issue 3.2. We have no idea what it is supposed to be. A “good doggie”? A guy with a big nose and a bottle of whiskey? We don’t know.

Samuel Beckett Beckett’s doodles from the “Watt” notebooks are as weird and wide as his writing.

Henry Miller From Miller’s insomniac period. Definitely the creations of an over-excited mind.

See the full piece here.

UncategorizedJack Dysonart, authors, charles bukowski, doodles, henry miller, kurt vonnegut, samuel beckett, sylvia plath, writers, writing Comments