Posts in Uncategorized
David Ogilvy: "I am a lousy copywriter"

British-born David Ogilvy was one of the original, and greatest, "ad men." In 1948, he started what would eventually be known as Ogilvy & Mather, the Manhattan-based advertising agency that has since been responsible for some of the world's most iconic ad campaigns, and in 1963 he even wrote Confessions of an Advertising Man, the best-selling book that is still to this day considered essential reading for all who enter the industry. Time magazine called him "the most sought-after wizard in today's advertising industry" in the early-'60s; his name, and that of his agency, have been mentioned more than once in Mad Men for good reason. With all that in mind, being able to learn of his routine when producing the very ads that made his name is an invaluable opportunity. The fascinating letter below, written by Ogilvy in 1955 to a Mr. Ray Calt, offers exactly that.

(Source: The Unpublished David Ogilvy: A Selection of His Writings from the Files of His Partners; Image: David Ogilvy, courtesy of Ads of the World.)

April 19, 1955

Dear Mr. Calt:

On March 22nd you wrote to me asking for some notes on my work habits as a copywriter. They are appalling, as you are about to see:

1. I have never written an advertisement in the office. Too many interruptions. I do all my writing at home.

2. I spend a long time studying the precedents. I look at every advertisement which has appeared for competing products during the past 20 years.

3. I am helpless without research material—and the more “motivational” the better.

4. I write out a definition of the problem and a statement of the purpose which I wish the campaign to achieve. Then I go no further until the statement and its principles have been accepted by the client.

5. Before actually writing the copy, I write down every concievable fact and selling idea. Then I get them organized and relate them to research and the copy platform.

6. Then I write the headline. As a matter of fact I try to write 20 alternative headlines for every advertisement. And I never select the final headline without asking the opinion of other people in the agency. In some cases I seek the help of the research department and get them to do a split-run on a battery of headlines.

7. At this point I can no longer postpone the actual copy. So I go home and sit down at my desk. I find myself entirely without ideas. I get bad-tempered. If my wife comes into the room I growl at her. (This has gotten worse since I gave up smoking.)

8. I am terrified of producing a lousy advertisement. This causes me to throw away the first 20 attempts.

9. If all else fails, I drink half a bottle of rum and play a Handel oratorio on the gramophone. This generally produces an uncontrollable gush of copy.

10. The next morning I get up early and edit the gush.

11. Then I take the train to New York and my secretary types a draft. (I cannot type, which is very inconvenient.)

12. I am a lousy copywriter, but I am a good editor. So I go to work editing my own draft. After four or five editings, it looks good enough to show to the client. If the client changes the copy, I get angry—because I took a lot of trouble writing it, and what I wrote I wrote on purpose.

Altogether it is a slow and laborious business. I understand that some copywriters have much greater facility.

Yours sincerely,

D.O.

 

This, and the intro, came via the excellent Letters of Note, which you should bookmark RIGHT NOW.

UncategorizedJack Dysonadvice, advise, david, mad men, ogilvy, writingComment
The Amorous Cannibal

Suppose I were to eat youI should probably begin with the fingers, the cheeks and the breasts yet all of you would tempt me, so powerfully spicy as to discompose my choice.

While I gobbled you up delicacy by tidbit I should lay the little bones ever so gently round my plate and caress the bigger bones like ivory talismans.

When I had quite devoured the edible you (your tongue informing my voice-box) I would wake in the groin of night to feel, ever so slowly, your plangent, ravishing ghost munching my fingers and toes.

Here, with an awkward, delicate gesture someone slides out his heart and offers it on a spoon, garnished with adjectives.

By Chris-Wallace Crabbe

UncategorizedJack Dysoncanniballism, poem, poetryComment
Sonnet 37

Sonnet 37: As a decrepit father takes delightby William Shakespeare

As a decrepit father takes delight To see his active child do deeds of youth, So I, made lame by Fortune's dearest spite, Take all my comfort of thy worth and truth. For whether beauty, birth, or wealth, or wit, Or any of these all, or all, or more, Entitled in thy parts, do crownèd sit, I make my love engrafted to this store. So then I am not lame, poor, nor despised, Whilst that this shadow doth such substance give That I in thy abundance am sufficed And by a part of all thy glory live. Look what is best, that best I wish in thee. This wish I have; then ten times happy me!

UncategorizedJack Dysonabundance, shakespeare, sonnet, spite, william shakespeare, witComment
The Guy Quote - Ambrose Bierce

Famously cynical, withering in his criticism, survivor - and hero - of more than one deadly battle, Ambrose Bierce was an American journalist, short story writer and satirist. In 1913, by then an elderly man, he also famously, mysteriously, disappeared. He's perhaps most famous for his short story An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge and for his satirical lexicon The Devil's Dictionary, while his motto "nothing matters" earned him the nickname "Bitter Bierce".

Born in 1842 to parents who, though poor, instilled in him a love for books and for writing, he was the tenth of thirteen children (each of whose name began with 'A'- in order of birth they were Abigail, Amelia, Ann, Addison, Aurelius, Augustus, Almeda, Andrew, Albert, Ambrose, Arthur, Adelia, and Aurelia. He left home at 15 to work on an Ohio newspaper.

He fought for the Union from the outset of the American Civil War. As well as fighting in "the first battle" at Philippi and rescuing, under fire, a wounded comrade at Rich Mountain, he fought at the Battle of Shiloh in 1862 - a terrifying experience he later drew on for short stories and his memoir. In 1864, he sustained a bad head wound. He was, in short, no wallflower.

Even if you put his war experience - and the trouble his wounds caused him later in life - to one side, he had reason enough to be cantankerous and sardonic. Married in 1871, he separated from his wife in 1888 when he found letters to her from an admirer. The following year, his son Day was shot dead in a brawl over a woman. Two years after that, his remaining son Leigh died from pneumonia brought about by alcoholism.

By the time he was married, however, he was already a prolific and successful writer. As well as writing for newspapers and periodicals both in the US and in England, he wrote ghost stories, short stories, war stories, poems...you name it. All with a very pure, economical style. The Devil's Dictionary is still quoted a lot today (and probably will be below, too).

In 1913, at the age of 71, he set off for Mexico to see the Pancho Villa revolution for himself. He wrote the following letters to his niece before he left, and was never heard from again.

Dear Lora,

I go away tomorrow for a long time, so this is only to say good-bye. I think there is nothing else worth saying; therefore you will naturally expect a long letter. What an intolerable world this would be if we said nothing but what is worth saying! And did nothing foolish -- like going into Mexico and South America.

I'm hoping that you will go to the mine soon. You must hunger and thirst for the mountains -- Carlt [her husband, Carlton] likewise. So do I. Civilization be dinged! -- It is the mountains and the desert for me.

Good-by -- if you hear of my being stood up against a Mexican stone wall and shot to rags please know that I think that a pretty good way to depart his life. It beats old age, disease, or falling down the cellar stairs. To be a Gringo in Mexico -- ah, that is euthanasia!

With love to Carlt, affectionately yours,

Ambrose

Lora received another short letter from Bierce on November 6 of that same year, reporting that he was in Laredo, Texas. The letter concluded: "I shall not be here long enough to hear from you, and don't know where I shall be next. Guess it doesn't matter much. Adios, Ambrose."

--

Doubt, indulged and cherished, is in danger of becoming denial; but if honest, and bent on thorough investigation, it may soon lead to full establishment of the truth.

Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for, And if allowed Would be right proud Eternally to die for.

I believe we shall come to care about people less and less. The more people one knows the easier it becomes to replace them. It's one of the curses of London.

"Peyton Fahrquhar was dead; his body, with a broken neck, swung gently from side to side beneath the timbers of the Owl Creek bridge." From An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge

A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

Heathen, n. A benighted creature who has the folly to worship something that he can see and feel.

Bore, n.: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.

Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.

Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.

Twice: Once too often.

Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.

All are lunatics, but he who can analyse his delusion is called a philosopher.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don't know.

We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road. They get run over.

Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.

Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity.

The small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify we give the name of knowledge.

What this country needs what every country needs occasionally is a good hard bloody war to revive the vice of patriotism on which its existence as a nation depends.

There are four kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.

To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.

When you doubt, abstain.

Who never doubted, never half believed. Where doubt is, there truth is - it is her shadow.

To be positive is to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.

Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.

Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.

Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.

Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.

Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.

Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.

The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them up.

Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum (I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.)

Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.

The covers of this book are too far apart.

You are not permitted to kill a woman who has wronged you, but nothing forbids you to reflect that she is growing older every minute. You are avenged 1440 times a day.

The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.

An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.

Miss, n. A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate they are in the market. Miss, Misses (Mrs.) and Mister (Mr.) are the three most distinctly disagreeable words in the language, in sound and sense. Two are corruptions of Mistress, the other of Master. In the general abolition of social titles in this our country they miraculously escaped to plague us. If we must have them let us be consistent and give one to the unmarried man. I venture to suggest Mush, abbreviated to Mh.

Infidel, n. In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one who does.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Peace in international affairs: a period of cheating between periods of fighting.

It is evident that skepticism, while it makes no actual change in man, always makes him feel better.

To men a man is but a mind. Who cares What face he carries or what form he wears? But woman's body is the woman. O, Stay thou, my sweetheart, and do never go, But heed the warning words the sage hath said: A woman absent is a woman dead.

Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.

Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and was arrested on the seventh.

Hippogriff, n. An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin. The griffin was itself a compound creature, half lion and half eagle. The hippogriff was actually, therefore, only one-quarter eagle, which is two dollars and fifty cents in gold. The study of zoology is full of surprises.

Plagiarism, n. A literary coincidence compounded of a discreditable priority and an honorable subsequence.

Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.

Mark how my fame rings out from zone to zone: A thousand critics shouting: "He's unknown!"

Be as decent as you can. Don't believe without evidence. Treat things divine with marked respect — don't have anything to do with them. Do not trust humanity without collateral security; it will play you some scurvy trick. Remember that it hurts no one to be treated as an enemy entitled to respect until he shall prove himself a friend worthy of affection. Cultivate a taste for distasteful truths. And, finally, most important of all, endeavor to see things as they are, not as they ought to be.

Woman would be more charming if one could fall into her arms without falling into her hands.

-- Find out lots more about Bierce by following the links at the bottom of this page.

If you liked this piece, there's a load more of The Guy Quote articles here.

Tip of the hat and a thankyewverymuch to Olly Figg, who suggested Bierce in the first place.

UncategorizedJack Dysonambrose bierce, battle at philippi, bitter bierce, great american writers, misanthrope, occurrence at owl creek, occurrence at owl creek bridge, owl creek bridge, satirists, the guy quote, wounded comrade, writing Comment
Current theme tune

...the vocals aren't that far off either. [youtube=http://youtu.be/drkixI3yiK8&w=700]

Jimmy Smith (December 8, 1928 February 8, 2005) was a jazz musician whose performances on the Hammond B-3 electric organ helped to popularize this instrument. In 2005, Smith was awarded the NEA Jazz Masters Award from the National Endowment for the Arts, the highest honors that the United States bestows upon jazz musicians.

While the electric organ was used in jazz by Fats Waller and Count Basie, Smith's virtuoso improvisation technique on the Hammond helped to popularize the electric organ as a jazz and blues instrument. For ballads, he played walking bass lines on the bass pedals. For uptempo tunes, he would play the bass line on the lower manual and use the pedals for emphasis on the attack of certain notes, which helped to emulate the attack and sound of a string bass.

Okay, one more because he's just TOO good:

[youtube=http://youtu.be/7QGcRWC1aJc&w=700]

UncategorizedJack Dysonhammond, jazz, jimmy smith, music, organ, virtuosoComment
Terms of endearment (professional wrestling)

[this picture] is of a Promotion of mine at Feltham Assembly Rooms, Felthem, Middlesex. There you can see a Tag match with Dino Scarlo and his Dad against Bob Taylor and Paul Knight and it bought the house down. They were really good and got some terrific heat going there the audience loved it. One problem was that it was a charity do and the Mayor and his Lady were there and I was on with Jim Martell from Engelfield Green and during the bout he aimed me through the ropes and I ended up going over and getting ny neck caught between the middle and top rope. As I am hanging there and they are trying to get me out the Mayoress fainted and luckily had a St Johns Ambulance chap there on duty who managed to bring her round and sort it out, and the show went on after they left. The one good thing there was that my pal a Publican got the license to run the bar there and we made a nice few bob that way, including everyone getting paid. We raised a fair sum and it was later presented to the Mayor but I have lost the newspaper cutting of it.

Above image and copy is from Rik Sands, on the British Wrestlers' Reunion page - well worth going there, it has some great old photos and stories.

And then below, the following is extracted from the Wikipedia glossary of common wrestling terms:

Alignment - the personality type used by wrestlers. For example, if they are a babyface, they are said to be "face-aligned". See also heel and tweener.

Angle - a fictional storyline. An angle usually begins when one wrestler attacks another (physically or verbally), which results in revenge.[2] An angle may be as small as a single match or a vendetta that lasts for years. It is not uncommon to see an angle become retconned due to it not getting "over" with the fans, or if one of the wrestlers currently involved in the angle is released from his contract.

Babyface - a good guy. (Referred to as a Blue-Eye in British Wrestling.) See also heel and tweener

Bump - when a wrestler hits the mat or ground. A flat back bump is a bump in which a wrestler lands solidly on his back with high impact, spread over as much surface as possible. A phantom bump occurs when a wrestler or referee takes a bump even though the move they are selling was visibly botched or otherwise not present.[1] Phantom bumps are most commonly performed when the offensive wrestler is new.

Burial (or Bury) - refers to the worked lowering (relegation) of a popular wrestler's status in the eyes of the fans. It is the act of a promoter or booker causing a wrestler to lose popularity by forcing him to lose in squash matches, continuously, and/or participate in unentertaining or degrading storylines. It can be a form of punishment for real-life backstage disagreements or feuds between the wrestler and the booker, the wrestler falling out of favor with the company, or the wrestler receiving an unpopular gimmick that causes him to lose credibility regardless of win-loss record. It is also a result of a company seeing a wrestler as having no potential or charisma. The term can also be applied to a wrestling company that jumps the shark, rapidly loses ratings, fans, and finally becomes bankrupt. Some notable pro wrestling personnel that are notoriously synonymous with burying include Triple H, Kevin Nash and Hulk Hogan.

Carny - a language used by wrestlers to talk to each other around people not associated with the business so they would not understand what they were saying, often used to keep the secrets of the business (see kayfabe).

Claret - to draw blood. Especially in UK Professional Wrestling. A promoter might say "I want some claret in this match".

Finisher - a wrestler's signature move that leads to a finish. Some Finishers Include Randy Orton's RKO, Eddie Guerrero's Frog Splash, John Cena's Attitude Adjustment, or Diamond Dallas Page's "Diamond Cutter" This can be a unique move entirely (like Razor Ramone's Inverted Crucifix) or a known standard move with a new name. A "Finisher" can also be a submission like the Sharpshooter or a flying maneuver like the Frog Splash or the West Coast Pop.

Flair flip - a move, popularized by Ric Flair, where a wrestler is flipped upside down upon hitting the corner turnbuckle and often ends up on the other side of the ropes on his feet on the ring apron.

Flair flop - also a Ric Flair specialty, it involves falling flat on one's face as a delayed sell of an opponent's offense.

Kayfabe - term used to describe the illusion (and up-keep of the illusion) that professional wrestling is not staged (i.e. that the on-screen situations between wrestlers represent reality). Also used by wrestlers as a signal to close ranks and stop discussing business due to an uninformed person arriving in earshot. The term is said to have been loosely derived from the Pig Latin pronunciation of the word "fake" ("akefay").

Luchas de Apuestas - with the importance placed on masks in lucha libre, losing the mask to an opponent is seen as the ultimate insult, and can at times seriously hurt the career of the unmasking wrestler. Putting one's mask on the line against a hated opponent is a tradition in lucha libre as a means to settle a heated feud between two or more wrestlers. In these battles, called luchas de apuestas ("matches with wagers"), the wrestlers usually "wager" either their mask or their hair, though there are wagers involving other items as well. While the culture of Luchas de Apuestas is unique to Mexico, matches of this sort do occur elsewhere. A famous example in the United States took place during the 1977 promotional war in Memphis. Bill Dundee and Jerry Lawler engaged in a feud which lasted for several months. The blow off match, a hair versus hair match in which Dundee lost his hair, did not end the feud. The following week, Lawler put up his hair against the hair of Dundee's wife Beverly and was once again victorious. Parts Unknown - billing a wrestler as being from "Parts Unknown" (rather than from his real hometown or another actual place) is intended to add to a wrestler's mystique. In some territories, the phrase commonly was applied to masked wrestlers. In the post-kayfabe era, it is used less and less, and usually with a certain air of levity. Sometimes, wrestlers can hail from other, abstract places; for example, the tag team of Deuce 'n Domino hailed from "the other side of the tracks", the Dudley family who came from "Dudleyville," The Boogeyman who came from "the bottomless pit," Shark Boy is billed from "the deep blue sea," Eric Young who, for a time, came from "Freedomville, USA," and "Now residing in an undisclosed location," and Judas Mesias, who came from "The Depths of Hell." In an interview, Chris Jericho described it as a city in central Wisconsin.

Potato - striking or hurting another wrestler more than necessary. A wrestler who endures one or more potatoes is likely to potato the perpetrator back, which is known as a 'receipt'.

Suplex - the move consists of one wrestler picking up his or her opponent off the ground (or mat) and then using a large portion of his or her own body weight to drive the opponent down on the mat.

UncategorizedJack Dysonalignment, american, babyface, british, british wrestlers, face, fighting, glossary, heel, jim martell, lucha libre, memoirs, paul knight, potato, single match, st johns ambulance, suplex, top rope, wrestling Comments
"Get mad, you sons of bitches! Get mad!"

One of my favourite monologues ever, this. Alec Baldwin in Glengarry Glen Ross lights a fire up the arse of Jack Lemon, Ed Harris et al, watched by a snarky Kevin Spacey. Ed Harris barely says a word, but his reaction is pitch perfect. Awkward and uncomfortable. [youtube=http://youtu.be/y-AXTx4PcKI&w=700]

It might be slightly cynical, but in many ways it's scarily real. Then of course there's Ricky Roma (Al Pacino), but I'll leave you to discover him. Best to just watch the movie.

UncategorizedJack Dysonacting, alec baldwin, ed harris, glengarry glen ross, jack lemon, monologues, ricky roma, snarkyComment