Baby Please Don't Go - badass versions

First recorded by Big Joe Williams in 1935 (on a nine string guitar)[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ikxLNaAYu5k&w=700]

Then Lightnin' Hopkins nailed it [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d49m6G9vOrI&w=700]

Here's AC/DC smoking away, with Bon Scott in drag - a ROCKING version [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1VlRUIHwygc&w=700]

And of course there's THEM (with Van Morrison up front) in 1971 [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7qNnyF3wtQ&w=700]

UncategorizedJack Dyson Comment
How to make your own prison wine (it's easy)

Rocking piece from DudeFoods.com, a site I will revisit regularly: [slideshow]

I don’t plan on going to prison any time soon, but if I do somehow end up there I’d at least like to be prepared. I’d imagine that a day in the life as a new prisoner can be quite stressful, and what better way is there to relax after a long day of making license plates and trying not to get shanked than with a nice glass of wine? Since prisons ban all alcoholic beverages however many inmates have taken to making their own wine, or “pruno” as it’s often called.

There are plenty of different pruno recipes out there, but I decided to use the most popular one, which is attributed to a man named Jarvis Masters, who is currently on death row at San Quentin State Prison. Making prison wine is actually surprisingly easy, and all you really need is a one gallon plastic bag, ten oranges, eight ounces of fruit cocktail, some sugar cubes, six teaspoons of ketchup and a towel.

The first step is to peel your oranges and toss them in the bag along with the fruit cocktail. Then you’re going to want to mash up the oranges as much as you can and add 16 ounces of water to the bag as well. The next step is to seal the bag up nice and tight, put it in your sink and heat it with hot running water for 15 minutes. After that you’re going to want to wrap your bag up in a towel to keep it nice and warm to help with the fermentation process and then stash it somewhere safe for 48 hours.

Once the 48 hours are up you’ll need to check on your bag of mashed up fruit. Does it smell completely disgusting and look like it’s about to explode? That means it’s working! This is when you add the sugar and six teaspoons of ketchup to speed up the fermentation process even more (and to give the wine a little better taste). Jarvis’s recipe calls for 40 – 60 sugar cubes, but the more sugar you use the higher the alcohol content of your wine will be (up to a certain point) so I added 60 of them. Once the sugar cubes and ketchup have been added you need to seal the bag back up, place it under hot running water for 30 minutes, wrap it back up in a towel and let it do its thing.

Three short days after adding your sugar and ketchup you’ll have your very own prison wine! All you really need to do in that final 72 hour span is to open the bag once a day to let all the gasses out and then seal it back up and run hot water over it for 15 minutes before wrapping it back up again in the towel. Once the three days are up just separate the fruit mash from your pruno and enjoy!

If you’re reading this I know that you’re probably wondering how it tastes. It was actually a lot better than I expected it to be. The smell kind of throws you off, but it pretty much just tasted like a really thick orange juice with a hint of ketchup flavor. It obviously isn’t the best wine in the world, but then again, if you’re in jail it’s certainly better than having no wine at all.

[gallery]

UncategorizedJack Dyson Comments
Cat humps dog's head

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezj0lz4quRo&w=700] Sweet sweet revenge or an interspecies "friendship"? Cat videos are not all cute, it seems. I actually feel a bit dirty having watched it. So dog-rading.

UncategorizedJack DysonComment
Getting old doesn't mean getting stupid

Via the Derren Brown Blog: “Cognitive fitness” is defined as the results of the overall functioning of brain processes such as comprehension, decision-making, problem-solving, learning and retention of knowledge. Most interesting are the capacities of abstraction, generalization, and meta-cognition (thinking about thinking) – which all aid in the ability to assess our environment, solve problems creatively and act decisively.

Roderick Gilkey and Clint Kilts claimed in Harvard Business Review—”Cognitive fitness is a state of optimized ability to remember, learn, plan, and adapt that is enhanced by certain attitudes, lifestyle choices, and exercises. The more cognitively fit you are, the better you will be able to make decisions, solve problems, and deal with stress and change.”

Evidence of very strong mental ability in later life can be seen in the likes of Arthur C Clarke who at 90 was still giving advice on the future, David Attenborough (85) continues to produce excellent books and TV programs and Noam Chomsky (82) is one of the most quoted intellectuals alive today and is quickly approaching his 200th book publication.

Also joining the list of brilliant octogenarians is 82-year-old Moreshwar Abhyankar. He has a string of degrees and diplomas to his credit, including a masters in arts, business administration, LLB, MMS and diplomas in journalism and social work.

It took Abhyankar nine years to complete the PhD on the subject ‘Impact of training interventions on the development and competencies of employees in private sector units in Pune’.

Abhyankar, who retired in 1988, chose this particular topic for his thesis because of his teaching experience of over 50 years.

“During my experience in training and teaching, I often wondered if the training programmes designed and conducted by the companies helped these employees at practical level.”

More on Abhyankar Times of India

Arthur C. Clarke David Attenborough Noam Chomsky

UncategorizedJack Dyson Comment
Notes for a young gentleman

A gentleman should arrive at his destination, after however arduous a journey, quite as if he had just taken a turn around the rose garden. A gentleman should never acknowledge a mere fact.

A gentleman should behave no differently in a prison than in a palace – to be affected by place shows lack of character.

A gentleman should never confuse superiority with nobility.

A gentleman – English – should reassure foreigners of his bona fides by appearing to be nothing more than a parody of an English gentleman; this is particularly important with the French.

A gentleman should never be heard to say anything other gentlemen have not said before.

A gentleman should greet physical agony much as if he were greeting his old Latin master.

A gentleman should never pass comment on his latest meal, no more than he would upon his latest evacuation.

A gentleman should smoke, if not for pleasure then to set his companions at their ease.

A gentleman should never condescend to condescend.

A gentleman should, when he is in the country, kill something larger than a squirrel at least once a day.

A gentleman should never evince surprise, except whilst opening Christmas presents from his children.

A gentleman should seem to lack nothing.

A gentleman should never appear utterly entranced by anything other than a horse or his fiancee on the day their engagement is announced.

A gentleman should greet with genuine warmth only the following persons – his sister’s daughters, his maternal aunts and his mortal enemies.

A gentleman should never be seen to handle money, except in a brothel or a casino.

A gentleman should have as deep a familiarity with the great religious texts of the world as is commensurable with not having read them.

A gentleman should never keep a diary – to pay attention to one’s own affairs suggests one may wish to profit thereby.

A gentleman should take domestic politics slightly less seriously than backgammon.

A gentleman should never go beneath ground-level except when, once a year, inspecting the wine cellars.

A gentleman should be as fluent in the little language of love as in le passé composé.

A gentleman should never run, except towards certain death.

A gentleman should walk as if he were being carried and – if ever the circumstance arises – be carried as if he were walking.

A gentleman should quote no one but his nanny, and then only back at her, with fondness, just before she dies.

A gentleman himself should die with an air of mild curiosity.

A gentleman, having once departed, should never return.

-------------

By Toby Litt in Granta: "And if you think Toby's left anything off the list, tweet us @grantamag and tell us what you think makes a proper #gent. Top hats at your indiscretion."

UncategorizedJack Dyson Comment
Building the Eiffel Tower

Built in 1889, tallest building in Paris, most-visited paid monument in the world, millions of people ascend it every year, 324 metres (1,063 ft) tall, was tallest man-made structure in the world until the Chrysler Building in New York City was built in 1930, second-tallest structure in France after the 2004 Millau Viaduct, the walk to the first level is over 300 steps, it has two restaurants.

UncategorizedJack DysonComment