I think I've seen some of Dallas Clayton's books around and about, but I didn't know about his AWESOME WEBSITE until I stumbled upon it here. If you have a spare minute or two, go check him out. He posts pictures, poems, musings, messages and more. Lovely job. Here are some things he has done (ps - where can I get a falconer's glove?):
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HOW TO MEET THE GIRL OF YOUR DREAMS (FOOLPROOF)
Buy a falconer’s glove.
Approach the girl you like wearing the falconers glove.
Ask her “Excuse me, have you seen a falcon fly by here?”
Look up to the sky, hopeful/sad.
If she says “No,” look distraught and ask her if she wouldn’t mind helping you look for your falcon.
No human being would ever turn down an opportunity like this.
Use the time you spend together searching for the falcon to get to know her.
At the end of your search (10 minutes) you will probably need consoling re: the loss of your one true friend.
By this point her interest in you based on the fact that you were able to put so much love and time into the raising of a falcon will more than ensure a second date, and from there it’s just a hop skip and a jump to marriage.
Good luck!
*NOTE: If by chance a falcon does appear out of nowhere, simply say ” (falcon’s name) I’ve missed you so much! Don’t ever scare me like that again!” Then offer to take the girl to dinner for helping you find your lost falcon. Bonus: You just got a free falcon!
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SPOT
At the dinner table upon her going away to college we discuss what dogs we would all be, a common enough question but not one you can answer on your own. You cannot choose because we cannot all be show dogs purebreds or winners of races. But if we are lucky honest and spirited at all the right times some can get named half-golden retrievers with big sloppy smiles warm and perfect for cuddling.
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MUSEUM
Question:
How important is it, On a scale of one to ten for an adult human being to know what a stegosaurus is?
Answer: 4
Question:
How important is it for an adult human being to not not know what a stegosaurus is?
Answer: 8.5
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GRIND
When you’re in the midst of a breakdown
remember that others with far more to lose
and much further to go
have been where you are
and emerged unscathed
by doing little more
than continuing forward
with their heads down
and their boots tightly laced.
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THOUGHTS OF A PROPERTY MANAGER
Been washing the cement on this same parking lot every day for the past six years.
No one pays me. Just like doing it.
It doesn’t get much cleaner than it was the day before.
But the smell is nice
And I get to wave to people on their way to whatever jobs they’ve been cut out to do.
Don’t know the name of the man who owns this parking lot or where this hose is connected but I like what I do.
And I don’t have to dress up for it.