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Famous opening lines from novels, updated for the internet age

Terrific list by Sean Ryan on the excellent McSweeney's (top marks if you get them all):

“Alice was beginning to tire of sitting by her sister on the bank. She took out her iPhone and played Angry Birds for the next three hours.” - - -

“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of an internet startup to call his own.” - - -

“Call me Ishmael_65.” - - -

“Ours is essentially a tragic age, so we refuse to take it tragically. Videos of sneezing pandas and narcoleptic cats see to that.” - - -

“For a long time I used to go to bed early, but then my girlfriend bought me an Xbox LIVE Gold membership.” - - -

“As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed into a giant insect. Not literally, obviously. He was playing an MMORPG and this was his avatar.” - - -

“Mother died today. I posted it as my Facebook status.” - - -

“It is a sin to write this. Well, in anything but Helvetica.” - - -

“In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since. ‘Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone,’ he told me, ‘just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had.’ He paused, looked at me and continued, ‘However, if you really must, make sure it’s on the internet and that you do it anonymously.’”

A dream of love

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eW_MAQj0aIA&w=700]  

Of all the virtuosi on the piano that there have ever been, perhaps the very greatest was the hungarian pianist and composer Franz Liszt. He might be considered to have been the first superstar of music. During the eighteen forties women used to fight each other for possession of his gloves, which he would leave "carelessly" on the piano stool after he had given a performance. At least, the women that were not carried out in a swoon, would fight each other. Star mania started long before The Beatles, or Elvis Presley.

Franz Liszt, with his flowing locks and his romantic affectations, was every impressionable lady's dream in the mid nineteenth century, and during his concert career he milked it for all it was worth. He was so much in demand for appearances that he became the most highly paid artiste of his day. He earned so much that he was enabled to give up public performance early, and devote the rest of his life to composing the immortal music, that for ever will be associated with his name, and to teaching a range of very talented pupils, who were eager to learn the secrets of godlike piano playing from the hands of The Master.

...

In February 1847, Liszt played in Kiev. There he met the Princess Carolyne zu Sayn-Wittgenstein, who dominated most of the rest of his life.

She persuaded him to give up touring, and he gave his last paid concert in September of the same year. By retiring from performance at such an early age, just 35, Liszt added to his legend, and his great fame continued to grow. He settled down as Kapellmeister at the small german court of Weimar. The princess came to live with him there.

Around 1860 Liszt and the princess decided to get married, but there was a snag. The princess, who was roman catholic, was already married to a prominent russian nobleman, and she needed to persuade the church authorities that her marriage was invalid. For a time she seemed to be succeeding, and the wedding was arranged, to take place in Rome on 22nd October 1861, Liszt's 50th birthday. But when the composer arrived in The Eternal City, eager to plight his troth, he got a rather horrible birthday present. The love of his life refused to marry him.

The Tsar of Russia had put pressure on The Pope to rescind permission to marry. She would also have lost all her property in Russia, and the scandal would have seriously blighted the marital prospects of her daughter.

From then on their relationship developed into a platonic friendship, and Franz Liszt permanently turned away from the love of women, in favour of the love of God.

He took minor orders in the Franciscan order, although he never actually became a priest. In later life he was known as The Abbe Liszt. This was quite a turnaround for one who once had all the women of Europe falling at his feet.

(via this excellent blog - be sure to read more of his posts, they tell amazing stories about music and musicians in a distinctly un-Wiki way)

Au Fond de Temple Saint - Pearl Fisher's Duet. Two versions

"Au fond du temple saint"from The Pearl Fishers (Les Pêcheurs de Perles) Music by Georges Bizet.

Two versions here, first one with Rufus Wainwright and David Byrne (tip of the hat to Luce Holmes for spotting it), second (at bottom of page) with Jussi Björling & Robert Merrill - more famous but more traditional, doesn't quite get the frailness of the first one. I guess which one you prefer depends on how you're feeling about love.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVTEFBzopVM&w=700]

Scene:  The coast of Ceylon.  Zurga, the newly elected leader of the little world of Cingalese fishermen, has scarcely been inaugurated when Nadir, a long-lost friend of his youth, appears.  After greeting one another with affection, they recall the time when they were foolish enough to quarrel over a beautiful priestess in the temple of Brahma, Leila.

In the duet, "Au fond du temple saint" the two men sing rapturously about falling in love at first sight with a beautiful woman as she was revealed to them for an instant in the dim, incense-clouded temple.   For each it was an almost mystical experience.  When they realize they were in love with the same woman, they are alarmed.  Believing themselves cured of the old infatuation,  they swear eternal friendship.

ZURGA C'était le soir! Dans l'air par la brise attiédi, Les brahmines au front inondé de lumière, Appelaient lentement la foule à la prière!

NADIR Au fond du temple saint Paré de fleurs et d'or, Une femme apparaît! ZURGA Une femme apparaît! NADIR Je crois la voir encore! ZURGA Je crois la voir encore!

NADIR La foule prosternée La regarde, etonnée, Et murmure tous bas: Voyez, c'est la déesse! Qui dans l'ombre se dresse Et vers nous tend les bras!

ZURGA Son voile se soulève! Ô vision! ô rêve! La foule est à genoux!

ZURGA & NADIR Oui, c'est elle! C'est la déesse plus charmante et plus belle! Oui, c'est elle! C'est la déesse qui descend parmi nous! Son voile se soulève et la foule est à genoux!

NADIR Mais à travers la foule Elle s'ouvre un passage!

ZURGA Son long voile déjà Nous cache son visage!

NADIR Mon regard, hélas! La cherche en vain!

ZURGA Elle fuit!

NADIR Elle fuit! Mais dans mon âme soudain Quelle étrange ardeur s'allume!

ZURGA Quel feu nouveau me consume!

NADIR Ta main repousse ma main!

ZURGA Ta main repousse ma main!

NADIR De nos cœurs l'amour s'empare Et nous change en ennemis!

ZURGA Non, que rien ne nous sépare!

NADIR Non, rien!

ZURGA Que rien ne nous sépare!

NADIR Non, rien!

ZURGA Jurons de rester amis! NADIR Jurons de rester amis! ZURGA Jurons de rester amis!

ZURGA & NADIR Oh oui, jurons de rester amis! Oui, c'est elle! C'est la déesse! En ce jour qui vient nous unir, Et fidèle à ma promesse, Comme un frère je veux te chérir! C'est elle, c'est la déesse Qui vient en ce jour nous unir! Oui, partageons le même sort, Soyons unis jusqu'à la mort!

BRYN It was in the evening! In the air cooled by a breeze, The brahmanes with faces flooded with light, Slowly called the crowd to prayer!

ANDREA At the back of the holy temple, decorated with flowers and gold, A woman appears! BRYN A woman appears! ANDREA I can still see her! BRYN I can still see her!

ANDREA The prostrate crowd looks at her amazed and murmurs under its breath: look, this is the goddess looming up in the shadow and holding out her arms to us.

BRYN Her veil parts slightly. What a vision! What a dream! The crowd is kneeling.

BRYN & ANDREA Yes, it is she! It is the goddess, more charming and more beautiful. Yes, it is she! It is the goddess who has come down among us. Her veil has parted and the crowd is kneeling.

ANDREA But through the crowd she makes her way.

BRYN Already her long veil hides her face from us.

ANDREA My eyes, alas! Seek her in vain!

BRYN She flees!

ANDREA She flees! But what is this strange flame which is suddenly kindled in my soul!

BRYN What unknown fire is destroying me?

ANDREA Your hand pushes mine away!

BRYN Your hand pushes mine away!

ANDREA Love takes our hearts by storm and turns us into enemies!

BRYN No, let nothing part us!

ANDREA No, nothing!

BRYN Let nothing part us!

ANDREA No, nothing!

BRYN Let us swear to remain friends! ANDREA Let us swear to remain friends! BRYN Let us swear to remain friends!

BRYN & ANDREA Oh yes, let us swear to remain friends! Yes, it is her, the goddess, who comes to unite us this day. And, faithful to my promise, I wish to cherish you like a brother! It is her, the goddess, who comes to unite us this day! Yes, let us share the same fate, let us be united until death!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PYt2HlBuyI&w=700]

Us Two

Wherever I am, there's always Pooh, There's always Pooh and Me. Whatever I do, he wants to do, "Where are you going today?" says Pooh: "Well, that's very odd 'cos I was too. Let's go together," says Pooh, says he. "Let's go together," says Pooh.

"What's twice eleven?" I said to Pooh. ("Twice what?" said Pooh to Me.) "I think it ought to be twenty-two." "Just what I think myself," said Pooh. "It wasn't an easy sum to do, But that's what it is," said Pooh, said he. "That's what it is," said Pooh.

"Let's look for dragons," I said to Pooh. "Yes, let's," said Pooh to Me. We crossed the river and found a few- "Yes, those are dragons all right," said Pooh. "As soon as I saw their beaks I knew. That's what they are," said Pooh, said he. "That's what they are," said Pooh.

"Let's frighten the dragons," I said to Pooh. "That's right," said Pooh to Me. "I'm not afraid," I said to Pooh, And I held his paw and I shouted "Shoo! Silly old dragons!"- and off they flew.

"I wasn't afraid," said Pooh, said he, "I'm never afraid with you."

So wherever I am, there's always Pooh, There's always Pooh and Me. "What would I do?" I said to Pooh, "If it wasn't for you," and Pooh said: "True, It isn't much fun for One, but Two, Can stick together, says Pooh, says he. "That's how it is," says Pooh.

A.A. Milne

One of the first animations ever - beautifully hand-coloured

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kcSp2ej2S00&w=700] Based on the comic strip Little Nemo and named after its creator, this short (better known as Little Nemo) entitled "Winsor McCay, the Famous Cartoonist of the N.Y. Herald and His Moving Comics" was created exactly 100 years ago in 1911. The first part is McCay building the characters and the animation starts at about the 8:11 mark. [via]

One Day on Earth - a big idea, done well

[vimeo http://vimeo.com/26378195 w=700&h=500] onedayonearth.org

ONE DAY ON EARTH creates a picture of humanity by recording a 24-hour period throughout every country in the world. We explore a greater diversity of perspectives than ever seen before on screen. We follow characters and events that evolve throughout the day, interspersed with expansive global montages that explore the progression of life from birth, to death, to birth again. In the end, despite unprecedented challenges and tragedies throughout the world, we are reminded that every day we are alive there is hope and a choice to see a better future together.

Founded in 2008, ONE DAY ON EARTH set out to explore our planet’s identity and challenges in an attempt to answer the question: Who are we?

Director: Kyle Ruddick Producer: Brandon Litman Co-producer: Daniel Lichtblau Production Supervisor: Gina Nemirofsky Editors: Michael Martinez & Javier Alvarez Trailer Editor: Michael Martinez

MUSIC BY: Joseph Minadeo and Beirut

Rocking Action Man Action - new Spike Jonze/Beastie Boys video w/ Santigold, full length and EXPLICIT director's cut - BOOOOOM!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhH9Y6q3Hhk&w=700] Official Full Length, Ultra HD and Explicit Director's Cut music video for Beastie Boys "Don't Play No Game That I Can't Win (featuring Santigold)" off their album Hot Sauce Committee Part Two. Directed by the legendary Spike Jonze. Production Company: Oscilloscope. Producer: Samantha Storr Get Hot Sauce Committee Part Two on iTunes: http://itunes.com/beastieboys Make Some Noise at http://makesomenoise.fm

When a poem just catches someone perfectly

From When We Were Very Young, by A.A. Milne comes this beautiful poem, The Island:

If I had a ship, I’d sail my ship I’d sail my ship Through Eastern seas; Down to a beach where the slow waves thunder - The green curls over and the white falls under - Boom! Boom! Boom! On the sun-bright sand. Then I’d leave my ship and I’d land, And climb the steep white sand, And climb to the trees The six dark trees, The coco-nut trees on the cliff’s green crown - Hands and knees To the coco-nut trees, Face to the cliff as the stones patter down, Up, up, up, staggering, stumbling, Round the corner where the rock is crumbling, Round this shoulder, Over this boulder, Up to the top where the six trees stand….

And there I would rest, and lie, My chin in my hands, and gaze At the dazzle of the sand below, And the green waves curling slow And the grey-blue distant haze Where the sea goes up to the sky….

And I’d say to myself as I looked so lazily down at the sea: “There’s nobody else in the world, and the world was made for me.”

Guitar oscillations captured with an iPhone4

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TKF6nFzpHBU&w=700] As the cameraman says: "I just happened upon this trick when testing what it was like filming from inside my guitar. *Note this effect is due to the rolling shutter, which is non-representative of how strings actually vibrate."

There is a heated discussion with *real science* over at reddit.

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,Black as the pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeonings of chance My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears Looms but the Horror of the shade, And yet the menace of the years Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishment the scroll, I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.

Written by English poet William Ernest Henley (1849-1903) and published in 1875, originally it didn't have a title (as you know, invictus is Latin for 'unconquered'. When he was 12, Henley fell victim to tuberculosis of the bone. A few years later, the disease progressed to his foot. The only way to save his life was to amputate directly below the knee when he was only 17. It's a fair bet that stoicism inspired him to write this poem.

Commuter art - Robert Montgomery's billboards

Found this guy via BOOOOOOM, but I've seen some of his things before. It's part art, part poetry, often best seen outside the context of a gallery, where they attempt to describe to commuters what it's like to live in the modern world. The solar jobbies with the lights absorb solar power by day and shine by night. Click the link to his website, here, to see more. [slideshow]